Conflict is an inevitable part of leadership, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. In this post, adapted from my latest podcast episode, we’ll explore effective conflict management and resolution strategies that can strengthen relationships and build a more cohesive team. If you find this content valuable, please share it with a friend or fellow leader.
The Inevitability and Importance of Conflict Resolution for Leaders
Leadership is no easy task. As a leader, you’re responsible not just for your actions, but also for the behavior and interactions of your team. Where people collaborate, friction and conflict naturally emerge. Workplaces bring together individuals with diverse backgrounds, personalities, opinions, and experiences, making disagreements unavoidable.
Your role as a leader is to bring swift, healthy resolutions to these conflicts—whether they involve you and a team member or arise among team members. This often requires constructive confrontation. When handled well, resolving disputes boosts your team’s well-being and, in business settings, your organization’s financial health. On the flip side, unresolved conflict costs American businesses $359 billion annually, according to Harvard Business School’s online insights, due to lost productivity and other ripple effects.
Some rights—like safe working conditions or protection from harassment—are non-negotiable. Beyond legal duties, ethical leadership demands respect for each person’s inherent dignity. As followers of Jesus, we’re called to be peacemakers and pursue reconciliation, guided by scriptures like Romans 12:16 (“Live in harmony with one another”) and Ephesians 4:3 (“Make every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit”). My goal here is to encourage you to reflect on your past approaches to conflict and consider how you’ll lead moving forward.
Understanding Our Response to Conflict
How do you respond when conflict arises? For many leaders, it triggers a physiological reaction—elevated adrenaline and cortisol kick us into “fight or flight” mode. While this is helpful in emergencies, it’s less productive when it drives aggression or avoidance in team settings.
A better first step is to slow down and cool down. Step back, take a deep breath, or use a personal mantra to manage stress. In person, try saying, “That’s interesting. Can you tell me more?” This pause helps clear anger or anxiety, setting the stage for a thoughtful response.
Avoid assuming you know someone’s motives—mind-reading often fuels misunderstandings. Instead, own your communication. Share your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly, and invite others to do the same. Conflict is normal; it’s our unhealthy reactions that complicate it. Taking criticism personally can escalate tensions, so shift the focus to systemic issues—like improving collaboration—rather than attacking character. As a leader, act as a referee, stepping in when discussions turn personal.
Understanding the Types of Conflict
Not all conflicts are identical. Research highlights three main types:
- Task Conflict: Disagreements about the work itself—ideas, opinions, or assignments. It often stems from unclear goals or priorities.
- Relational Conflict: Interpersonal friction, personality clashes, or emotional tension, typically tied to communication styles or personal differences.
- Process Conflict: Disputes over how work gets done, including delegation, methods, or responsibilities.
Why does this matter? Recognizing the type of conflict helps you tailor your approach, pinpoint root causes, and guide your team to solutions. It also impacts performance—task conflict might spark debate, while relational conflict risks resentment if ignored.
Leadership Roles and Strategies for Resolution
Navigating conflict requires a mix of skills suited to the moment. Communicate early and often to prevent misunderstandings. Observe to understand the situation fully, and stay impartial by managing your own reactions.
Patience is critical—rushing decisions can erode trust. Use “I messages” to express feelings without blame, like “I feel concerned when deadlines shift unexpectedly.” Your aim isn’t to win an argument but to restore unity and relationships. If respect falters, pause until it’s regained.
The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model offers five strategies:
- Avoiding: Sidestepping minor issues (low assertiveness, low cooperation).
- Competing: Standing firm on your goal (high assertiveness, low cooperation)—useful in emergencies but risky long-term.
- Accommodating: Yielding to preserve relationships (low assertiveness, high cooperation).
- Compromising: Finding a middle ground through mutual sacrifice.
- Collaborating: Seeking a win-win solution (high assertiveness, high cooperation).
Choose based on the conflict type and stakes—collaboration often fits relational issues best.
R. E. Quinn’s leadership roles also apply:
- Monitor: Reduces task conflict with clear information.
- Coordinator: Minimizes process conflict through organization.
- Mentor: Supports individuals, though less effective for team-wide relational issues.
- Facilitator: Fosters teamwork to ease relational and process conflicts.
Servant leadership—rooted in humility, empathy, and listening—turns tension into opportunities for understanding.
3 Actions to Improve Conflict Resolution Skills and Build a Conflict-Resilient Team
Understanding conflict is a start, but action drives change. Here are three practical steps to sharpen your skills and foster a resilient team:
1. Practice Active Listening
Conflicts escalate when people feel unheard. Active listening shifts the focus to understanding rather than reacting.
- How to Do It: Pause and listen fully in your next conflict. Ask, “Can you tell me more about why this matters to you?” Reflect back: “It sounds like you’re upset because…” For example, “I hear you’re frustrated about being excluded—let’s address that.”
- Why It Works: It builds trust and calms tension, aligning with James 1:19: “Be quick to hear, slow to speak.”
2. Establish Clear Communication Channels
Miscommunication breeds conflict. Regular, open channels catch issues early.
- How to Do It: Set up weekly check-ins or a monthly “open forum” for honest discussion. Encourage sharing successes and struggles alike.
- Why It Works: Proactive dialogue prevents escalation and reflects Ephesians 4:15’s call to “speak the truth in love.”
3. Foster a Culture of Empathy and Understanding
Relational conflicts thrive where connection is weak. Empathy bridges that gap.
- How to Do It: Host a “lunch and learn” where team members share personal stories, like “What’s one thing you wish others understood about you?”
- Why It Works: It builds respect and reduces friction, living out Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens.”
These steps—listening, communicating, and empathizing—equip you to resolve disputes and create a team where people feel valued.
Developing Conflict Competence
Conflict competence grows through practice. Role-playing tough scenarios or reflecting on past conflicts—What worked? How did I feel?—builds skill. Managing your emotions is key; approach conflict as a chance to grow, not a threat to avoid.
The Importance of Follow-up
Resolution isn’t the end—follow-up ensures lasting impact. Check in later with, “How’s this working for you?” or “What could we improve?” This shows you value the relationship and keeps solutions effective.
Conclusion
Conflict isn’t easy, but great leaders guide teams to fair, unifying solutions. By practicing active listening, establishing clear communication, and fostering empathy, you can turn challenges into growth opportunities. These steps echo biblical calls to listen well (James 1:19), speak truthfully (Ephesians 4:15), and support each other (Galatians 6:2).
Conflict doesn’t end relationships—it’s a doorway to deeper connection. Lead with grace and purpose, and you’ll build a team that thrives through any storm.
This post is adapted from episode 93 of the Equipped for Purpose podcast. Listen to the full episode here.