This post is a condensed version of episode 97 from the Equipped for Purpose podcast. To hear the full version, listen in the link above.
With constant digital noise and fleeting interactions, it’s easy to forget what makes leadership truly effective: relationships. Inspired by Michael Irwin and Willis Duvall’s book Leadership is a Relationship, I recently explored this truth and its transformative power. Here’s why leadership is all about connection and how you can lead with purpose by putting people first.
The Shift: From Traits to Relationships
Leadership theories have evolved. Early ideas focused on innate traits like charisma or decisiveness. Then came behaviors, how leaders act. Today, it’s clear: leadership is a system of relationships. Irwin and Duvall’s work, built on interviews with diverse leaders, shows that genuine connection is the antidote to the digital age’s isolation.
Seven Keys to Relationship-Based Leadership
- Accountability: Hold others accountable with care. Strong relationships make tough talks constructive.
- Forgiveness: Let mistakes fuel growth. A forgiving culture breeds bravery.
- Resilience: Community turns adversity into strength. Together, we thrive.
- Trust: Vulnerability builds trust. Be human, it equalizes teams.
- Coalition Building: Connect across differences. Shared experiences unite.
- Loyalty: Prioritize others’ potential. Loyalty empowers growth.
- Stability: Relationships anchor us in chaos. Love stabilizes teams.
Faith in Action
For followers of Jesus, this isn’t just theory, it’s faith lived out:
- Love: “Love one another” (John 13:34-35)
- Forgiveness: “Forgive one another” (Ephesians 4:32)
- Community: “If one suffers, all suffer” (1 Corinthians 12:26)
- Humility: “Count others more significant” (Philippians 2:3)
- Inspiration: “Let your light shine” (Matthew 5:16)
Eight Steps to Lead with Connection
- Invest Intentionally: Schedule one-on-ones to know people’s stories.
- Embrace Vulnerability: Share a failure to build trust.
- Cultivate Forgiveness: Frame mistakes as growth moments.
- Prioritize Community: Create groups for shared resilience.
- Use Affirmative Language: Turn “don’t” into “do” for positivity.
- Commit to Coalitions: Bond over coffee or a walk.
- Practice Loyalty: Support and defend those you lead.
- Fight Distraction: Go device-free for presence.
The Power of People First
Leadership isn’t about tasks, it’s about relationships. For disciples, it’s our calling to love, serve, and connect. Step away from screens and into the sacred space between people. When you prioritize relationships, you unlock leadership’s true power and faith’s deepest joys.